used to be.

christmas is just week a way and im busy thinking of what to presents to buy and who to give, blablabla ..

i went to the curve just now and they were having this christmas bazaar.
i didnt get the chance to go check out the things there but i bet they're awesome.
who the hell doesnt like bazaars? ..
saw some stuffs from a few stalls and they looked really nice.
hehehe, i dont care, i gonna go shop there. even if i have to go there alone.

and and, my parents are gonna get a turkey on christmas night!!
wuhooo! i love turkey! and its only during christmas that we have turkeys so yes, i love u mum and dad! heheheheh ...
cant wait to have a big feast on christmas night :)

singapore was fun btw. loved the place and Clarke Quay especially.
i want to go back there again! oh, and did i mention that most singaporean guys are hotties!
hahahaha ... seee, thats one of the reasons why i want to go to singapore again!

sam results came out few days ago. its horrible i tell u, HORRIBLE!
now i wish my results never came out. SIGH.
i dont even know how to tell my dad.
well, obviously, he has got higher expectations of me than i do for myself.
and i did expect to get a little higher than what i got.
SHIT SHIT SHIT.
i cant even get into the uni that i wanto go to. fml :(
if only i took things more seriously and actually made effort to study, things would have turned out differently.
oh well, too late to regret.

anyway, nothing's been going well lately.

sometimes, after a long day out with my friends, i come home and stare at the wall in my room and realise that im all alone afterall.

i feel so empty.

its like nobody understands, nobody truly cares.

i dont know why the hell am i feeling like this.

i tell myself its nothing, really. im just thinking too much.

sometimes, its better to just put all your negative thoughts into a box and shove it aside , dont you think?

then life would be easier.

goodnight world.

PS. you give love a bad name.

images

your fingertips across my skin
the palm trees swaying in the wind
images
you sang me spanish lullabies
the sweetest sadness in your eyes
clever trick ..

well i'd never wanto see you unhappy
and i thought you'd want the same for me
goodbye my almost lover
goodbye my hopeless dream
im trying not to think about you
cant you just let me be?
so long my luckless romance
my back is turned on you
should've known you'd bring me heartache
almost lovers always do

we walked along a crowded street
you took my hand and danced with me
images ...
and when you left you kissed my lips
you told me you would never , never forget these images

i cannot go to the ocean
i cannot drive the streets at night
i cannot wake up in the morning
without you on my mind
so you're gone and im haunted
and i bet you're just fine
did i make it that easy to walk right in and out of my life?

goodbye my almost lover
goodbye my hopeless dream
im trying not to think about you
cant you just let me be?
so long my luckless romance
my back is turned on you
should've known you'd bring me heartache
almost lovers always do.

open your door

A second, a minute, an hour, a day goes by.
Im hopin' just to be by your side.
Im turnin' the handle
it wont open.
Dont make me wait, cause right now I need your smile.

Knock Knock
When life had locked me out,
I turned to you
so open the door.
You're all I need right now its true.
Nothin' works like you.

Little louder, knockin, Little louder
A warm bath, a good laugh, an old song that you know by heart.
Ive tried it but they all leave me cold.
So now im here waiting to see you,
my remedy for all thats been hurting me.

You seem to know the way to turn my frown upside down,
you always know what to say to make me feel like everythings ok.

Nothing works like you.

killing me softly

Life sucks!

I dont wanna talk about it.

I just want to shisha :(

no. 201

at times like this, when im rotting at home, checking facebook over and over again, stoning, staring at the wall, talking to myself, i certainly wish i had siblings.

someone whom i can talk to, do stuffs together .. or at least argue with.
then life wouldnt be so dull. it sucks cos whenever im at home, its either i talk to my mum or to myself. sighs. and sometimes, there are things that i dont want my mum to know. so i talk to myself or to my pillow. f.y.i, i love my pillow.
its been my best friend/faithful companion since the day i was born and it means alot to me :(

i love my pillow.

anyway, i got screwed upside down by my dad on saturday night. sigh.
so i was out the whole day. went to this place called Soho in Mont Kiara and came home late, way pass curfew time. dad being the ever-so-concerned-and-forever-worried dad, waited for me.
so just right when i stepped into my living room, daddy started scolding.
he threatened to not send me to uni next year. LOL
then the next day, my parents and i had this dinner thing with a close family friend and they were talking about my future, practically throughout dinner.
then dad told the uncle that im gonna go monash to do accountancy or something.
i gave dad the WTH look. i thought u said that u were not gonna send me to uni??
HAHA GOTCHA! ...

daddy oh daddy ...

anyway, i had one hell of an awesome dinner on Sunday night at Hilton :)
good food makes me happy, no matter how bad my day was.
now, i crave for icecream and cupcakes.

oh btw, talking about food, i went to Petaling Street the other day with Cawyn and JJ just to go search for nice food. Soo, we were walking around and we found this lorong, where they sold curry mee and asam laksa.
fuhhhhh, ordered the curry mee and it was good.
eat until syiok syiok eventho the place stinked pretty badly.
went around Petaling Street for more food. then headed to PJ for duck rice.
i tell you, the duck rice there is to die for .....

hahaha .. yes to die for. i absolutely love the duck rice there and im so happy that Cawyn knew how to get there. and i got to eat the duck rice.
maximum satisfaction :):)

i want to eat maggi mee now.

i miss going to college.

i want to watch new moon.

i want to go on a holiday.

i want an itouch.

i need to tidy up my room.

i want to jump round a christmas tree.

i want to eat curly fries and kebab in the cinema.

i want movie marathon.

i wanto go to the airport and look at planes.

i want to laugh like there's no tomorrow.

i want to lose my fats.

i want to go to kl tower.

i want to bungee jump.

i want to earn money.

i want to make potpourri.

i wanto punch someone in the face.

i wanto time travel.

i wanto eat.

byebye.

spare me some time

THIS IS MY 200TH POST!!

AWESOMEEEEEEEEEE ......

anyway, to make this post special, i shall talk about my hair ..

i just realised im balding. what the heck.

why am i losing so much hair?? .. sigh. too much of emotional distress i guess.

damsel in distress :) hahaha ...

i just googled damsel in distress , "She is usually a beautiful young woman placed in a dire predicament by a villain or a monster and who requires a hero to dash to her rescue. "

yes, i need to be rescued. i am balding. i am deprived of hair hormones.
so now, where's my hero?? ...

moving on, i've finished my pre-u studies.
one year just passed by so quickly ..
the holidays have just started and its not as good as i hoped it would be.
well, i spent more time at home than i did when i had my finals. actually, i spent alot of time at home since the holidays started. what the heck.
this is so frustrating.
i would watch the japanese series One Litre of Tears on my laptop in my room the whole day, and cry , cry , cry.
lifeless sial.

but i did go to the movies yesterday and today.
i watched Christmas Carol yesterday with Sean, Melvin and Lim.
two words, boring sial. aku tak suka.
Went to Midvalley today and watched Time Traveller's Wife for the 2nd time!
hehehe .. mannn, what a sad story.

i miss everyone, especially azy, kayme, sean, jocelyn.
cant wait to see them tomorrow :)

oh btw, prom pictures are up on facebook. HEH :D

its sucks that i spend my time just thinking about you.

when you probably dont even care.

always in my heart, P4

heheheheheheehehehehehe :):)

i spent my Friday just rotting at home and watching the television.
very different from all my other Fridays.
its the day when i just wana stay at home, be like a fat lazy pig and eat in front of the tv and sleep as much as i can. hehehe

now that college is over, prom is also over, i feel so empty.
i miss waking up every morning, driving to college, walking into class, seeing my classmates, laughing at the little things, skipping classes for foosball, lunch breaks, going up and down the stairs, rushing to hand up assignments, going in late for classes, celebrating birthdays, cafetaria and all the lame stupid things we would do.

to me, every bit of it was memorable.

every day of college was different and it was because of the people.
they made college life so enjoyable and so much more than i expected it to be.
making it the most memorable year for me. hehehe.
no words to describe how awesome each and everyone of them are,
and to me, they are all special in their very own way.

and they are the reason i wake up every morning, looking forward to go to college.

but now that SAM is over,
i wake up in the morning,
not knowing what to look forward to anymore.

SIGHS.

P.S i miss P4 and you :(

strawberry cheesecake and caramel chocolate chip

if u'd ask me hows life?

i'd say its so much more than awesome right now.

close to perfect actually :)

who knew one night could change everything?

who knew you would do what you did?

who knew we would be where we are today?

i'd say that i didnt see it coming at all and i guess, i realised that there are many things in life that comes unexpectedly. it comes when you least expect it , whether its good or bad.

but in my case, its definitely a good thing.
i knew just right then, that i was the happiest person alive.
i couldnt possibly ask for more. it was everything i wanted.

after everything that has happened this year,
after all the emotions you put me through,
but the moment i saw you standing outside my house,
i knew it was all worth it.

it still remains a mystery to me how we got this far , to today.
before this, i thought it was all over.
but who knew you were so unpredictable?
hahaha .. and this time, in a good way.
and i hope it'll be the same in the future too.

this time , im putting all my trust in you so please dont let me down again.


PS. outta the emo zone :)

i'd come for you

ever felt so used?

like a stupid fool.

yes i am a stupid fool , and i feel like im being used by people. specifically one person actually.

and i dont even mind, thats why im a stupid fool.
but sometimes i get so sick and tired of it.

i always think that its okay, that there will be benefits and i will end up being happy anyway so its okay.
but now, i realised that im just mere stupid.

to actually believe that i was something,
but in actual truth, i never meant anything to him.

i've always told myself that i would do anything,
but whats the point if he only takes it for granted.
he just doesnt care.


he just doesnt know,

how much he means to me.

panic mode

FINALS, TOMORROW! *breathes in breathes out*

OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG ...

not prepared at all

*faints*

and im feeling so lazy. i need motivation!
MOTIVATION PLEASE ...

sighhhhh ..

PS. i walked on railway tracks on Friday night :):):)